DEFECATION IN DALLAS –  Now I could say yesterday’s game was a disastrous debacle that dampened the Eagles’ Super Bowl dreams and defenestrated (look it up) their hopes of hosting 2 playoff games.  And I realize last week I went all classy with the Dickens references.  But not this week.  Defecation is the perfect word to describe what the Eagles did yesterday in Dallas.  They took the field in Jerry Jones’ billion dollar behemoth of a stadium simply needing a win to lock up the #2 seed in the NFC and a first-round playoff bye and laid a giant steaming turd.  I apologize for the graphic imagery but there’s no better way to describe what transpired yesterday.  As a lifelong Eagles fan I’ve certainly seen my share of horrible and confounding losses, stupid playcalling, and general malaise emanating from the players on the field.  Last year’s loss in Baltimore, the NFC Championship loss in Arizona, and this year’s putrid performance in Oakland were all upsetting and disgusting for various reasons.  But for my money they all pale in comparison to yesterday’s performance.  I’m so angry, hurt, frustrated, and confused that I’m actually numb – I had no visceral reaction at all.  The worst part about it is that I have absolutely no idea what it means for next week.  Let’s just get on with the review:


  • Thinking….
  • Still Thinking…..
  • Um…
  • I got nothing.
  • Seriously.
  • I can’t think of a single thing that was good about yesterday. 
  • Okay, Brent Celek had 7 catches for 96 yards.  Yay.


THE BAD – Holy Lord where do I begin?  There was so much that was bad yesterday I could go on for about 3000 words.  But I’ll try and spare you that and stick with the lowest of the low:

  • The team showed no heart.  For the first time since the Oakland game, the players just didn’t show up.  It was like watching the Eagles play in the preseason.  Considering the magnitude of the game and everything that was riding on the outcome, that’s simply inexcusable.  I blame Andy Reid most of all but Donovan McNabb, Sheldon Brown, Jeremiah Trotter and the other “leaders” of the locker room are all equally culpable. 
  • ZERO POINTS.  The highest scoring team in franchise history scored a whopping ZERO points in its most important game of the season. 
  • The Defensive line got so beat up and pushed around they looked like a junior high football team playing against the Varsity.  Dallas did whatever it wanted, whenever it wanted, and however it wanted.  They ran the ball right down the Eagles’ throats (funny because going into yesterday Dallas’ offense had been struggling to run the football), Tony Romo passed for over 300 yards and the Eagles’ only turnover was on a deflected ball.  Was there a single member of the D-Line that didn’t get obliterated by the Dallas O-line yesterday?  I couldn’t find one. 
  • 36 passes, 12 rushes.  I realize they were behind early but that’s like 75% passes.  Are you f-ing kidding me? 
  • “The Weave” had 1 carry for 2 yards and Shady McCoy had 1 carry for 4 yards.  Well done, Andy.
  • In previous games against Tony Romo, the Eagles have blitzed the living hell out of him and caused him a lot of problems.  So yesterday they spend most of the day in their “Nickel” package and rarely blitz.  Huh?
  • The wide receivers dropped at least half a dozen balls.
  • The Eagles burned a timeout on a punt formation deep in Dallas territory.  Rather than take a 5 yard penalty for delay of game (which would’ve given Sav Rocca more room to pin Dallas inside the 10 yard line), the Eagles instead chose to burn a timeout.  Reid said later he wanted to make sure they had the right personnel on the field.  Not surprisingly, the Eagles could’ve used that timeout in their final drive of the half as they desperately tried to march up the field for a field goal. 
  • Down 17-0 in the 3rd quarter, Andy Reid inexplicably decides to kick a 53 YARD FIELD GOAL on 4th and 2.  For starters, when’s the last time Akers hit one from beyond 50?  But more importantly, at that point in the game, with NOTHING working on offense OR defense, trying to kick that FG says to your team you don’t think they have the “stones” to keep pushing forward.  Reid said later he thought it was important to try and get some points.  I don’t totally disagree but NOT FROM 53 FREAKING YARDS!!!  AND NOT WHEN YOU HAVE “THE WEAVE” JUST SITTING THERE!!!  Had Reid gone for it and gotten it, who knows?  Maybe the team fights back late and makes the game interesting.  Even if they had gotten the first down and ultimately settled for a FG it would’ve at least showed the team that Reid still believed in them.  As it was, Reid mailed it in from that point on and so did the rest of the team.


THE VERDICT – A disgusting display all around.  To come out so flat and uninspired in the biggest game of the year against a hated division rival is simply astounding.  There is no word that adequately expresses the disappointment, disgust, and general alarm anyone who’s a fan of this team is feeling today.  I suggested to my friends that the team shouldn’t be allowed to return to Philadelphia this week.  Whenever the charter tries to land in Philly the air traffic controllers should simply say, “Sorry.  We don’t know who you are.  You certainly don’t represent our city when you play like you did yesterday so please go back to Dallas.”  Seriously.  I wish the team had to stay in Dallas all week so they could listen to everyone & their mother talk about how great the Cowboys are, what a HUGE win yesterday was for them, and how they’re now the favorites to make it back to the Super Bowl.  Maybe a week spent listening to that garbage would piss off the guys on the team enough to come out and obliterate the Cowboys next weekend.  I feel so disheartened by watching the game yesterday that I don’t think a single player on the team DESERVES to wear Eagle green.   When you represent the city of Philadelphia as a member of the Eagles, your team’s supposed to be about pride, hard-work, determination, and never backing down against anyone.  NONE, I repeat, NONE of those traits were on display yesterday.  It was the worst feeling I think I’ve ever had watching the Eagles.  Losing I can handle.  But coming  out so flat, so uninterested, and simply looking like they didn’t care about the BIGGEST game of the season is something that I don’t understand and no amount of explanation or justification will ever suffice.  I was ashamed.  I don’t know if it was because of the team’s collective youth or inexperience or the fact that they hadn’t really been tested much this season, but things had better change quickly.  Every single player on the team needs to look themselves in the mirror and do whatever is necessary this week to ensure things turn out differently next Saturday.

UP NEXT: THE DALLAS COWBOYS – Round 3.  Right back where they were yesterday, only this time, the loser’s season ends.  Which Eagles team will show up? The one that was barely treading water at 5-4 or the one that ripped off a 6 game winning streak?  I have no idea.  I think that’s what bothers me the most.  Last year I KNEW they were beating Minnesota and I KNEW they were beating the Giants.  This year?  I really couldn’t begin to say.  Could they come out and repeat yesterday?  Absolutely.  Could they come out and hang 47 on Dallas? Without a doubt.  Because I’m really not sure, I’ll leave you guys with some numerology.

  • The Eagles are now 8-3 under Andy Reid in the second Dallas game of the season.
  • The Cowboys won their last game of the season yesterday for the first time in 9 years. 
  • The Cowboys have not won a playoff game in 13 YEARS (12/28/96).
  • In NFL history, there have been 19 instances where one team has had an opportunity to go for a 3 game sweep against another.  12 times out of 19 has the feat been accomplished.
  • Despite that, the Cowboys are 0-2 when trying to beat a team for a third time in one season (In ’98 the Cardinals [at the time they still played in the NFC East] led by none other than Jake Plummer went into Dallas and upset them in the wild card round.  In ’07 the Giants went into Dallas and upset them in the Divisional Round).
  • The Eagles have not lost a first round playoff game under Andy Reid.

I expect that streak to continue on Saturday.


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